Mustaches, crickets, & Dad jokes
Father’s Day at our house is never about the perfect gift. In fact, Jim isn’t a “gift guy”. He’s much prefers experiences and time spent together. So for Father’s Day, we get a little weird, wonderful, and wildly specific about things that make our little family... us. And this year? This year might’ve topped them all.
We surprised Jim with the Official Sanford Itinerary of Unscheduled Joy, a cheeky nod to how over-scheduled life sometimes feels (especially if you ask Jim). The “itinerary” was a minute-by-minute breakdown of his ideal morning: waking slowly, foam-rolling while crunching goldfish into the carpet, and realizing—no, those aren’t Emily’s footsteps (she’s still sleeping, of course!)—Vivian is up and already banishing him from watching soccer in the living room. He laughed out loud. It was full of Sanford-specific hilarity. It’s a keeper.
Then came the Father’s Day Morning 5—our usual checklist, hilariously reimagined: tripping on a single socccck, cleaning up dog pee, scooping da poop, remaking a kid’s breakfast. Check, check, check. It was lovingly chaotic.
Next up, the crown jewel: a custom Abraham Lincoln on a pogo stick card, courtesy of ChatGPT, inspired by one of Jim’s oldest dad jokes. He’s been pulling the “look over there—it’s Abraham Lincoln on a pogo stick!” trick since the kids were toddlers, just long enough to swipe a french fry. Getting to see that joke brought to life? Glorious.
We kept the gifts experience-based. Owen and I picked up a Tailwaters Fly Fishing gift card for a class he and Jim can take together in July. Owen hand-made a coupon sheet. Vivian followed suit with her own coupon—one free soccer game in the living room (instead of banishing him to the kitchen TV like usual!). That’s love—and her dad’s humor.
Vivian, ever the prank queen, wasn’t done. She rigged up a piece of toast with peanut butter, Pop Rocks, and bacon-and-cheese flavored crickets (inspired by a San Diego Zoo memory where Jim once ate a cricket for laughs). He took the bait—literally—and bit in, thinking the Pop Rocks were the gag. Oh, how wrong he was.
Breakfast was made with eggs from our neighbors’ chickens, served with side-splitting laughter and emergency mustaches for everyone at the table. A Sanford classic.
We’d planned a hike, but rain and whiny kids rerouted us. No regrets: pool time, Vivian braving the lazy river in a drizzle, and pickleball with Owen turned out to be just what we needed. Later, Jim and I teamed up to tackle the garage and finally reclaimed his long-lost workbench—an oddly satisfying cap to the day!
And then there was the part that meant the most. Jim suggested we honor our dads who have both passed. So the kids folded prints of photos into paper boats: our kids with their Papa, and me with Geo (my dad). Owen and Jim placed them into the water at a nearby lake, quietly marking the moment with gratitude. (Vivian was out on this activity - very concerned about breaking the law and “dumping in the lake!" I hear ya, girl. I’m a rule-follower, too. It was the gesture and sentiment (and, not to worry, Owen grabbed the dissolved paper after tearful hugs with Dad.)
Not just a day off. A day on—present, funny, a little absurd, and full of love.
To all the dads who show up, who make us laugh, who build forts and fix faucets and pretend not to see the prank coming—thank you. You’re the real gift.
